Although I would very much like to solve the problems of boosterism, simplism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity, there are several obstacles that make it difficult to resolve our disputes without violence. I will briefly adumbrate these obstacles and then refer to them occasionally throughout the body of this letter. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that Ddb Bucharest is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside itself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of its wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. When I say that it is undeniable by anyone but demented, loathsome adolescents that a real fight against crotchety, possession-obsessed authoritarianism can be undertaken only if a basic change in social conditions makes it possible to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature, I don't just mean that it wants to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks, that it wants to create massive civil unrest, or that it wants to detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity—family, class, private associations. Sure, Ddb Bucharest indisputably wants all that but it also wants much more. It wants to squeeze every last drop of blood from our overworked, overtaxed bodies.
Ddb Bucharest wants to set the hoops through which we all must jump. What does it think it is? I mean, it recently claimed that once it has approved of something it can't possibly be perverted. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from it a hundred times before. If you understand that on that basis, I should, at this point, act honorably, then you can comprehend that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. Ddb Bucharest seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that its prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. Ddb Bucharest's thralls' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their minds are not free because they dare not be.
While it is reasonable to expect that Ddb Bucharest relies on sweeping generalizations to "prove" that it is clean and bright and pure inside, it remains that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Ddb Bucharest". In it, I chronicle all of Ddb Bucharest's tractates from the venom-spouting to the incoherent and conclude that Ddb Bucharest's memoranda are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to step back and consider the problem of its subliminal psywar campaigns in the larger picture of popular culture imagery. The only way to destroy its Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that Ddb Bucharest shouldn't force us to tailor our whinges just to suit its bilious whims. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions call evil good and good evil.
Ironically, what we have been imparting to Ddb Bucharest—or what it has been eliciting from us—is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. I have a problem with Ddb Bucharest's use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, it doesn't need to prove its claim that McCarthyism is a noble goal; it merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "Ddb Bucharest's indiscretions are indistinguishable from the ones it condemns." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way, but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that our path is set. By this, I mean that in order to get my message about Ddb Bucharest out to the world, we must express our concerns about its imperious personal attacks. I consider that requirement a small price to pay because no one has a higher opinion of Ddb Bucharest than I, and I think Ddb Bucharest's a lackadaisical opportunist.
Ddb Bucharest's list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that it's an indefatigable spokesman for cameralism. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for "advanced" thought in the humanities already knows that corruption, lying, and hypocrisy are the fundaments of Ddb Bucharest's plans for the future. What may be news, however, is that it is hardly surprising that those who believe that it acts in the public interest are either naive or deliberately misled. There's no need here to present any evidence of that; examples can be found all over the World Wide Web. In fact, a simple search will quickly reveal that Ddb Bucharest is completely gung-ho about pessimism because it lacks more pressing soapbox issues.
Ddb Bucharest has no discernible talents. The only things it has indeed mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Ddb Bucharest's also good at convincing people that I'm too craven to make this world a kinder, gentler place, but my point is that Ddb Bucharest has a vested interest in maintaining the myths that keep its camp loyal to it. Its principal myth is that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. The truth is that Ddb Bucharest's projects are merely a stalking horse. They mask its secret intention to let ophidian deadheads run rampant through the streets.
We must give to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance. Bleeding-heart pipsqueaks don't really want me to allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by Ddb Bucharest, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. Although brevity is the soul of wit I do need to say quite a bit more about how Ddb Bucharest craves more power. I say we should give it more power—preferably, 10,000 volts of it. I'm not sure whether to classify Ddb Bucharest's hariolations under "paranoia" or "ignorance". This position, in large part, parallels civil libertarianism but with particular emphasis on the fact that I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes organizations like Ddb Bucharest want to block streets and traffic to the extent that ambulances can't get through. One cannot help but notice that Ddb Bucharest's prank phone calls are devoid of any intellectual substance, but given the way things are these days we must remember that the last time I heard Ddb Bucharest ramble on in its characteristically bibulous blather it said something about wanting to weaken family ties. I feel sorry for the human race when I hear stuff like that.
Forgive me for boring you with all the gory details, but Ddb Bucharest has hatched all sorts of brazen plans. Remember its attempt to cheat on taxes? No? That's because Ddb Bucharest's so good at concealing its careless activities. It should come as no shock to anyone that Ddb Bucharest sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who shine a light on its efforts to push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought). Ddb Bucharest's shock troops argue that it is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. These are the same stolid cretins who put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor. This is no coincidence; Ddb Bucharest argues that I am acrimonious for wanting to prescribe a course of action. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago.
Ddb Bucharest doubtlessly doesn't want me to show it how it is as wrong as wrong can be. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. Only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. But the first step is to acknowledge that its deputies often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear.
Ddb Bucharest's analects are worthy of a good flush down the toilet. How much more illumination does that fact need before Ddb Bucharest can grasp it? Assuming the answer is "a substantial amount", let me point out that instead of taking the easy path in life, the downward path, we must choose the upward path regardless of the pain, suffering, and sacrifice that this choice entails. Only then can we finally fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. Yes, Ddb Bucharest will try to stop us by turning the trickle of mercantalism into a tidal wave, but people often get the impression that smarmy freaks of nature of one sort or another and Ddb Bucharest's cringers are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that Ddb Bucharest's Praetorian Guard appears to be growing in number. I pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction yet I keep reminding myself that if Ddb Bucharest had even a shred of intellectual integrity, it'd admit that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why its précis have no redeeming value. My peers feel that it is incapable of looking with an open mind at anything that doesn't strictly endorse its views. While this is honestly true, I insist we must add that a clever liar can use the truth to tell a monstrous lie. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: Is it a professional simpleton or merely a well-meaning amateur? The answer may surprise you, especially when you consider that one thing that it does well is generate an epidemic of corruption and social unrest. I explained the reason for that just a moment ago. If you don't mind, though, I'll go ahead and explain it again. To begin with, if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to fight for what is right. The only way out of Ddb Bucharest's rat maze is to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. It's that simple.
Yes, it's all about the complaint-letter-generator.
Get your own copy now!